Buns of steel – the theory and reality ! 



A free workshop for runners, hooray I thought, perfect I thought. Actually, a good reason to finally get more value from my expensive gym membership that I probably don’t get worthy use out of being a treadmill-phobe with limited free time that gets spent in the fresh air. As the hubster frequently points out, a couple of lengths in the pool and dipping your arse in the jacuzzi isn’t really maximising multi million pound facilities !! 

But now David Lloyd has started a running club, not sure if that’s a national plan or just my club, but as the popularity of running grows and grows it has been well attended, 70 runners some nights. I don’t run with them, yet another time clash with my daughters sporting chaffeur services and anyway, just how many clubs can I run with ……..loads actually, I’m such a ‘run slut’ !! It does however mean that David Lloyd are now putting runners ‘health and wellbeing’ events on the list for all members……awesome! 

The workshop was a run to look at key runners strength exercises, particularly some useful butt busters , essential for lazy arsed runners like me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a lazy runner but middle age has seen the demise of my gluteus maximus (no, my bum no longer looks big in anything!! ) and physio’s have assured me my butt is not firing on all cylinders…..see, lazy arsed !! 

Years of training mean I am a closet PT and most exercises I know, but reminders and a technique check are always welcome plus a bit of new thinking to keep me up to date. A badminton court was covered with equipment with the commentary, “when you’re in the gym going forward, ensure you incorporate some of these into what you’re doing”. The catch for this session was they were laid out as a circuit so we were actually doing all of them TWICE for 2 minute and then 1 minute intervals. 

Let’s see, there were:

  • Weighted lunges (using a vipr for weight and tram lines to keep legs the right distance apart)
  • Weighted squats
  • Inchworms ( intriguing and unflattering!) 
  • Spider-Man crawls ( opposite leg and arm …..mentally challenging for all concerned) 
  • Plyometric box jumps ( only 3 out of 12 of us had the guts to try, cowards ! easier option, just jump) 
  • Bridge bum lifts (one legged for the strong …..me of course ! )
  • Plank
  • Crunches
  • Side leg lifts and squats with a resistance band
  • REST ( I bloody PB’d that one) 
  • Sprint shuttle runs ( probs translate the term ‘sprint’ loosely here) 
  • Dead lifts with a barbel or vipr ( yet again nearly everyone avoided the barbel, it was fine, they would have been perfectly capable…ladies annoyingly avoid ‘manly’ looking equipment when it’s not that big a deal)
  • Oblique twists with a medicine ball ( feet off the floor of course) 

Shock your body, its key every now and again and I owned those circuits. 12 of us there and I wasn’t the youngest or oldest but I was the fittest. I owned each station, full effort for the full time and of course I still got to dip my arse in the jacuzzi at the end. Now we all know that pride comes before a fall, those who visit ‘smugsville’ must pay a price….

Let me edit the highlights of the next two days for you, I doubt my companions had this to show for their efforts……

  • Involuntary grunts with any movement involving any slight raising or lowering of bum height 
  • Inability to sit on any chair without arm rests to grab from behind to brace the descent of my arse to a sitting position
  • Preference to use the disabled toilet cubicle as the rails prove handy,yet again, to control the speed of my backside descent to a loo seat
  • Hamstring tension to ensure retrieval of items from the floor was impossible 
  • Running when each foot strike jolted my glutes painfully as a reminder they clearly do need to be fired up more frequently
  • Running when each foot strike jolted my abs , yes abs, painfully as a reminder they are not as flat, firm and chiselled as I might like to think
  • Running made my saddle bags hurt ……why, there’s no muscle in there! 
  • Running was ultimately a painful reminder of just how much moves about when you run. Even my shoulders hurt, my whole back must bounce up and down……ugh!

So will I aim to weight train more? Yes, it reminded me that I do weirdly enjoy it but the key here will be to incorporate SOME of these exercises into my weights routine, not ALL of them! Not all in one go!


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One thought on “Buns of steel – the theory and reality ! 

  1. John Knowles says:

    Dear Justine.This is a Blog to end all Blogs.Never before has so much information been made available concerning the abilty of the human form to perform such amazing feats. In an nutshell this is the finest piece bunkum and hilarious amusement to be placed before the G>P for some time.

    Like

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