Saved from the Twilight Zone by Big Knickers

By justinesq on December 31, 2017 • ( 0 )

We’re nearly through the twilight zone, that weird few days between Christmas and New Year where quite frankly I have no idea what day of the week it is or whether I have actually made any arrangements with anyone during drunken pre-festive gatherings ( I dread sitting here in my joggers when there’s a risk of family or friends rocking up expecting a ham sandwich and homemade pavlova). The days seem endless and yet I was sitting at my desk last week giddy with excitement and plans for all that I could do in a week off work, when not really any of them have happened. The kitchen drawer ( you know the one) hasn’t been sorted out, my wardrobe not weeded. It’s days like this when I feel too fat to bother going to the January sales and too sloth like to book a cinema ticket. All is not quite lost, I did roll my arse to the gym on a single occasion, picked up a couple of dumbbells and swam a couple of widths of the jacuzzi. I’m sure that will make up for the million daily calories consumed.

What happens to us during these unique few days? A balanced diet becomes a mince pie in each hand and while I’m still trying to drink 2 litres a day, it’s not all water!

So it’s finally New Years Eve and we’re almost back to reality, routine, commuting and the daily grind….someone turn the clock back quick. I’m not making public resolutions that I have to publicly break, I’m just ready for a new year so I can forget this one, learn from it and move on. I’ve not been on running form but I have managed 5 x 10kms, one half marathon and a couple of parkruns…………..but it’s been most memorable as my younger teenmonster has taken up running too and has run the last 3 x 10kms with me, getting a PB each time. I already accept that she’s going to destroy my times in 2018.

So I started this year with the chaotically organised ‘3 villages 10km’ on Jan 2nd 2017 and I’ve ended it on the the even more appallingly organised ‘3 villages 10km’ on NYE 2017. I thought it would be good to actually run a ‘race’ now I’m 50 as I haven’t run ‘officially’ yet. Not yet out of the grip of the cheeseboard or the calling of the prosecco, I didn’t commit to enter until the day, I love the unplanned, last minute decisions to run. You can add so many conditions to talk yourself out of it…..if it’s not raining, if it’s not icy, if I didn’t have too much red wine the night before, if I can get up on time and quite frankly if I can bothered when the hour arrives. But I did make the effort thanks to a secret weapon, the lure of testing a new Christmas Present……Runderwear.

They are awesome, although I wasn’t sure I was worthy enough to put them on, their strapline is ‘underwear for committed athletes’ (ha, not this year) and I don’t look much like the Runderwear models. Do those beautiful people actually wear massive running knickers? I mean these bad boys are big, really belly hugging, Bridget Jones monsters. None of this low rise rubbish that’s not designed for the middle aged, I’ve had two kids, wobbly belly. No no, you could almost pull these babies up to your armpits if you really tried. It’s such a necessary feature, I did go for a run on Christmas Eve but as I trotted along, my leggings rolled down ‘just a little bit’ and my top rolled up ‘just a little bit’ and there was Billy belly eager to get out and admire the view…..wtf….burn the mince pies immediately.

The packaging claims are intriguing..’Seamless technology’…good, no chaffing, pinching, trapping things or unexpected hair removal then. ‘Moisture Wicking’….OK so is that no sweaty bum cleavage or super sweaty bum cleavage as its all channelled efficiently into one place for speedy run off? I haven’t spoken to anyone that ran behind me to ask! ‘Ergonomical Design’...is that even a word? what could it mean? I hope it means your bum definitely doesn’t look big in these, is lifted, achieves a ‘go faster’ shape….if only.

But to race today when my entire belly was safely encased in both giant sized pants and running leggings was a joy. Maximum comfort, minimal wobble, Billy suitably contained until he can be appropriately downsized (oops no talk of New Year Resolutions ).

We ran it in almost the same time as the start of the year 54.52, nowhere near my PB but then I am 50 and at least I haven’t deteriorated over the year as much as it’s felt like I have. Most importantly, Mr.Garmin says I burned 680 calories so that’s tonight’s starter covered !!