The perils of the ‘home gym’

So when my delayed return from work left me neither the time to go out for a run ( there’s always time I hear you shout…..don’t ruin my tale, I reply) or time to get to the gym, I decided to work out at home. It’s a growing trend, so why not give it a go?

Now until this point in time, it’s never been something I’ve advocated, just how much gym equipment gets purchased that simply takes up valuable room or becomes a clothes horse? At home, no one checks you’re doing something right and there’s no motivation to push yourself. Yet I read that in 2016, subscriptions to both free and paid for training apps look set to skyrocket. I’m not sure I see the attraction, but as I had limited time, years of training experience, lots of copies of running mags with umpteen exercise options and a yoga mat, I was ready to give it a go.

Choice one, where to train ? As the other occupants of the household were in residence I decided the privacy of my own bedroom was safest. I wasn’t up for the ridicule of training with anyone else around.

Choice two, what to wear? A tricky one indeed. Matching gym gear felt a little OTT for my own bedroom, PJs perhaps a little too loose, underwear a bit too ‘can’t be arsed’ and I’d never live down being spotted by a teenager doing press ups in my pants ! So I mixed it up with grey joggers and a sporty grey bra ( can I just clarify here, that said bra was purchased in grey…..this is not a reflection of any lazy laundry practices).

We then need to decide where in the bedroom to train? Left of the bed seemed a good option, when it was so cold outside, this cosy spot near the radiator felt ideal. Alas, two sets of tricep dips, press ups, side planks and back lifts so close to a radiator brings on near heat exhaustion and even worse, the potential fusion of your yoga mat and your shag pile carpet…….please remember to avoid this costly mistake!

Don’t panic, just move over to the right side of the bed. Here, it is important to forwarn other members of the household that access to wardrobes during the execution of a downward facing dog is strictly forbidden and actually impossible. Why would the hubster ‘need’ to get at a fleece at this particular moment, I’d nearly eased my heels to the floor for gods sake!

Also be warned of the danger of planking in front of mirrored wardrobe doors. Naturally, wearing joggers and bra gives you the liberated feeling of a toned fitness model and I do indeed have great abs from years of martial arts training. Sadly glimpsing in the mirror is a horrible reminder that while your abs are indeed engaged and strong, an unattractive layer of flab, untonable after the birth of two children will dangle unattractively and hide the beautiful abs that you can feel are locked and loaded! I preferred to not have the illusion that I am ‘Elle McPherson’ ruined in such a realistic way.

Also weird is that under real life gym conditions, motivated to show your prowess and distracted by many fine young specimens pumping iron nearby, you can hold a plank for an eternity……well 3 minutes at least. But on your bedroom floor, with your eyeballs less occupied and your iPhone stopwatch under your nose, you can hold a plank for precisely 37 seconds?  I am better than that.

Session concluded, I was then quickly accosted by the family and clearly informed that a warning should be given before undertaking threes sets of running squats on a bedroom floor so that any occupants of the room below don’t fear a scale 3 earthquake has begun and seek shelter under your ornamental side tables.

Overall, I feel if you need any reason to haul your arse off the sofa and either head out that front door for a run or get into that car and go to the gym, try a home based exercise regime . The perils have proved too great for me, I
think I’ll stick to what I know, but I tried.

Categories: Ladies of a Certain Age Running (LCA), Runners Problems

Tags: , , ,

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