No, not those pre holiday waxing essentials, save that for August. I’m talking about your garden shrubbery, your boundary foliage, the leafy overgrowth along the curtilage of your property. This week I’ve been out doggedly dodging the downpours, keeping those very white new running shoes gleaming (it won’t last and maybe that’s a good thing). It’s not just me overcome with their gleaming whiteness, this week I received a text from a friend which simply said ‘Saw your trainers out for a run when I was driving home !’ and thrilled to be joining the Friday morning ‘natter run’ after a brief, unavoidable absence, the normally polite Ellie’s first words were ‘Fuck me, they’re massive !!’
Still, I digress from my burning issue of wet foliage. I love it that spring has sprung, the sun has made some glorious but perhaps fleeting appearances, that the darling buds of May abound alongside an assortment of beautiful blossoms. I am relieved not to be a hay fever sufferer and can enjoy the different smells of pollen and blossom and I love the fact that running in the morning smells different to running in the evening. But all this sudden May rain has caused a growth frenzy, the shrubbery is on the move, it’s creeping over fences and reaching across footpaths. I’ll run around the dog walkers, I can weave through the LCAs that walk, I can manoeuvre round a pushchair like a whippet, but I do object to slapped in the face by a wet pussy willow. Come on gardeners of the UK, get those boundaries in check; running past an over enthusiastic Hawthorne is like dicing with an Iron Maiden (no not the rock band !) and not ducking below the lower branches of a tree is like being the brunt of the ‘bucket of water on top of the door’ trick.
Maybe I should run with some ‘Trim me’ labels I can add to the worst offenders or even worse embrace my ‘middle aged’ status that I usually try to avoid at all costs and complain to the council. Maybe I’ve found a new cause for the middle aged runners of middle England? Time to slap a few people in the face with a wet clematis.
Categories: Ladies of a Certain Age Running (LCA)