Bombshell! The marathon journey has got tougher

So week 3, it started so well, but ended on a bombshell that makes me wonder how I’ll ever manage the marathon challenge.
The good bits were the short weekday sessions. A Monday night 4.5 mile tempo run with Ellie. Pace and chat, can’t be bad! Then despite a massive drop in temperature, I multi tasked to fit in run number 2 by taking my car in for a service and opting to run home and not have a courtesy car. To be honest it’s not the first time and Sytner are used to me rocking up to their glossy showroom in my running gear ( ok I kept the bobble hat off ). I’m used to waiting for my service advisor along with the business men in suits and corporate ladies in heels and me in my muddy trainers. I was bold, I got the dealerships managers name ready to request sponsorship. There must be a few quid to spare looking round the showroom at thousands of pounds worth of gleaming BMWs.

Once outside , I whipped out ‘the hat’, I couldn’t face the ridicule of the glamorous reception staff! It was a horrific -2 degrees and I conquered my fear of icy pavements by running the 5.3 miles home. Perhaps I should say mincing rather than running although I did get quicker as my confidence built. My legs were purple despite my sweaty face and yes I was in full length leggings…..I’ve never quite understood the whole shorts and woolly hat thing that you see a lot of at this time of year.

Run three is described on my Garmin history as ’round the block’ ; it’s a measured 5km from my front door and back. It’s my ‘quick one’ when I can’t seem to find the time for any more,the cheeky 350 calorie burner that you can do before friends come over for a boozy night or when my selected dessert needs 3 types of cream!

But before the longer weekend run, the bombshell. It was a visit to the hospital with my mum and dad to hear the words that she has breast cancer and will be having surgery on February 15th followed, if all goes well, with 3 weeks of radiotherapy which won’t be known for sure until after the op. Hearing the words from the consultant is quite a stark experience although handled very sensitively. My mum had absolutely convinced herself it definitely wasn’t cancer and my poor dad just sat stunned, who wouldn’t. I went along because I knew hearing those awful words was a very real possibility but I remained emotionally strong as always. But even I am panicked at what lies ahead and if I am up to providing what’s needed from me. It’s at times like this you wish you had siblings.
The wider family will be stunned, my sister in law was diagnosed with breast cancer before Christmas and is on session 3 of chemo so I’ve been shuffling my manic work diary to accommodate a weekly meeting for a lunchtime coffee for moral support. I already spread myself so thin I fear I just won’t be able to keep everyone happy and feel guilty already at the thoughts of being unable to manage everyone’s expectations of me. Oh yeah and the marathon training, well I’m running it and that’s that. Christ will I fit it all in?
The Saturday long run was appalling, I hadn’t slept, I’d hit the wine, my head was all over the place. The run wasn’t the solace it often is. I moaned, I plodded, I didn’t want to be there. But yet out popped 10km in 57 mins, not near my PB but I was staggered I got that far based on my mind set.
The road to your first marathon is without doubt a long one but I fear my journey has just got longer.

I need to hold this thought in the coming weeks

I need to hold this thought in the coming weeks

https://www.justgiving.com/Justine-Squitieri2

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Categories: Ladies of a Certain Age Running (LCA), Runners Problems

Tags: , , , ,

9 replies

  1. Sorry to hear of your news.
    I hope you find you can do what you need to without having to be someone you’re not.
    All the best to you and your family.

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  2. Oh no so sorry to read this post. I am sure you can manage it all you’re a woman and the marathon fundraising should help keep you on track good luck to both you for the race and to your mum and Aunty with her treatment

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    • Thank you, currently snow is more likely to derail my training. It’s all for a good cause though so i am determined not to give up. It just felt daunting at the time.

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      • You’re doing amazingly well if you ever want a run round notts I’m a half marathon runner but you could add miles on let me know I know the long runs can get lonely

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      • Thank you that’s very kind. You might enjoy the banter on the Notts Women Runners Facebook page and I’m a member of Holme Pierrepont running club if you fancy joining us too.

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      • I’m on the nwr page I’m a member of the Src as they run earlier if I go home after work then run I don’t run

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  3. Really sorry to hear your latest bit of bad news, keep positive, I’m sure you’ll do your best for your family and as much training as is humanly possible for the run and that’s all anyone can ask of you.
    Dawn was released from the Oncology department last year after 10 years of regular follow up visits which was both a relief and a little scary.
    Having a family member come up against cancer really brings the reality of it home, you are in our thoughts right now as you cope with this as best you can.

    On a different note… that’s one big, bright, bobble on your hat! 🙂

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